Today marks 100 days since Duckling and Gosling were placed with us and so it felt like a suitable time to come back to my blog which has been abandoned somewhat since their arrival. And what a rollercoaster it’s been…
In 100 days we have managed to squeeze in a 5th Birthday, Christmas, Duckling starting school and Gosling starting nursery, the children meeting our immediate family and some of our close friends, eight sessions with a speech and language therapist for Gosling, two Glitter Runs*, countless trips to the park, weekly trips to the library, and I calculate 65 washing machine cycles, 1000 hours of playing My Little Pony, and at least 1,000,000 times of being asked “Why...?”.
I’ll be blogging in more depth about all of this, as well as about introductions, in the coming weeks and months.
*The Glitter Run is one of the many bizarre and wonderful games that Duckling has invented. It involves running the length of the garden with a pot of glitter and throwing it in the air when you reach the end. We have a video that I wish you could see. The joy on their faces is wonderful!
There has also been an immeasurable outpouring of emotion as well. From all four of us…
Both children deal with their emotions in very different ways and we’re learning to read the signs of how they’re feeling and how best to help them deal with it. We’ve experienced screaming tantrums, hitting and thrashing about, running away and hiding, and being told (frequently) that we don’t love them. The week after Duckling’s birthday was probably our worst time but even when things seemed to settle, issues resurfaced as soon as school started. But as the days have passed, so too have the extremeness and frequency of the outbursts. Currently it’s Gosling’s turn to let rip while he settles into nursery. Hopefully it will pass.
Life has changed beyond recognition for us too. There were some times early on in the placement where it felt as if we’d made a huge mistake – but that quickly passed and now we can’t imagine our lives without our children. Of course, there is the occasional day where one of us will find ourselves in a funk and it’s a struggle to stay calm, let alone playful and empathetic, but again as the days pass those days are fewer and fewer.
We spent the first eighty days almost entirely together, so the four of us know each other pretty well by now, but we’re still discovering new foibles and idiosyncrasies everyday (including Tom and me about each other). It’s been amazing seeing them grow, both physically and emotionally, over the last three months and I can’t wait to see how they’ll grow and develop during the rest of their lives.
I wrote the first draft of this blog on Monday morning as it was the first time since introductions began that I was at home without either child or Tom. The house was quiet (except for the drone of the washing machine) and I finished a cup of coffee while it was still hot. Bliss. But I also spent the time looking forward to Gosling coming home from nursery with his cheeky smile that melts your heart; Duckling coming home from school so we can sing a song, dance a dance, or play a game she’s made up for us all; and of course Tom coming home from work so I can have a break from the madness for five minutes before bathtime.
My husband and I have adopted two wonderful children. Duckling is 5 and Gosling, her little brother, is 3. I'll be keeping track of our journey here...